I am an oversharer. But, I want to make sure that what I am saying is clear and that my position is understood. Social interactions are fraught with confusion for me. Neurotypical people are not straightforward. Social niceties are all too often based on, if not outright lies, ambiguity and/or deception. Though I am speaking about pretty much all social interactions, I will use the cliché of a meal and dessert. Just bear in mind that I am not only speaking about dating or intimate encounters. The biggest area, of course, is dating, but people seem to often play games where they only agree to one thing because they hope for another.

When I meet a person, I feel compelled to explain myself completely, which can be problematic for that person. It can also, I fear, make people put me in the doth-protest-too-much position. But that is simply not true. Using the cliché, I want to get a meal with that person. That is it, just a meal. I do not want more than that. For any myriad number of reasons, I am not seeking dessert with them. I wish I could just propose grabbing a meal without feeling it necessary to make it clear that I do want dessert. The more rambly I get in my attempt to make it clear that it is just a meal I am interested in, I assume that they are then thinking that I certainly would not be bringing up dessert unless I was trying to pull a magic act and merely distract them while all the time I am laser-focused on dessert. Or my explanation is some sort of game like neurotypicals seem to play. I do not have game. I am not multi-layered. I am the same across all levels. If I say something, that is what I mean. If I mean something, that is what I say. I wish I could stop feeling compelled to also clarify what I do not mean.

I am a lot. I know this. That is one of the reasons I feel compelled to overshare. I want the person to understand that I am not seeking more. I am not asking them for dessert and all that would bring. I am only looking to share a meal. I also want to head off possible rejection, so it is very annoying that my intention of warding off rejection can often cause it. Because of the dishonest social niceties that neurotypical people engage in, oftentimes, people do just want the dessert and only use the meal as a path to their goal. I do not want the person to reject my offer of a meal because while they might enjoy a meal, they are not at all interested in dessert. I can accept that the person has no interest in dessert with me but I do not want them to reject the meal simply because they are afraid I will push dessert

I do not have ulterior motives. Ulterior motives are by their nature deceptive, if not outright dishonest. Like in other things, I am not implying a negative judgment when people play those games. I just wish they did not. If people just communicated their positions clearly, this would never be an issue. If every request for a meal was just a request for a meal, I would not feel so compelled to head the possibility of dessert off at the pass. I know for me, if someone asks me to share a meal, my brain does not even think anything other than the person wants a meal. As always, I can only speak for myself, but the games just make no sense. If someone does not want dessert with me, that is not an insult to me. Yet it apparently is with neurotypical people so they must play these games of subtle signals and innuendo. That way they can lie to themselves and not have to call attention to the resultant lack of dessert. People have preferences, why should I be hurt because I do not happen to align with those preferences?

Why is it so difficult to just be honest and straightforward for so many? If people communicated properly rather than playing games to assuage their egos, things would be so much better. Not just for Autistic people, but for society writ large. Remove the ambiguity, remove the opportunity for predators to thrive in that gray area. I never want anyone to do anything they do not want to do. It horrifies me that someone would agree to dessert with me for any reason other than they wanted dessert. I do not want anyone to regret their decision to have dessert. They may regret the dessert itself, but the decision to have dessert should be sacrosanct.