Special interests. I would be willing to bet a fair sum of cash that having special interests is as near a universal as possible for Autistic people. The topics can vary widely, from ultra-niche topics like 18th century hat pins to ultra-cliché topics like trains. While special interests are a commonly known component of the Autistic brain, there are aspects of special interests that are lesser known (at least I was not aware of them while I was self-masking). Special interests are more than just some topic that I find interesting. (Though I am pretty confident I could use “we” for most of what I want to say, I am still only speaking from my own personal experiences so I will not do so.)
A term often used is “infodump” for when Autistic people share a slew of information (usually related to a special interest, but not necessarily). The word itself is sort of fun to say and it is mostly factually accurate. But it does not capture what I am trying to do. When I infodump, I am not just spewing out facts as the term implies. I am sharing my special interest. My special interests bring so much joy to my brain. That joy is what I am sharing. And more importantly, what I receive when others share their special interests with me. An infodump is not just a regurgitation of facts, it is a present we are giving. A nicely wrapped bundle of facts and information that just like when people give a gift, comes from a warm place.
One of my special interests is learning. I am insatiably curious, but I do not have the capacity to take on as many topics as I would like. On my own. But when listening to an Autistic person infodump, I can learn all kinds of stuff that has been pre-filtered. Not only do I get all the facts that the person is sharing, but I also feel their joy. It is infectious. Even if it is a subject that I have no personal interest in, or even if it is something that I would find absolutely boring if I were looking into it. Like 18th century hat pins. (I apologize to anyone that does actually have a special interest in 18th century hat pins.) I am not disparaging hat pins from any century, just saying that I have no interest in learning those facts on my own. But if I could have a conversation with someone that does have that interest, that topic would become very interesting to me. I may not (probably will not) remember everything of what was shared, but that does not lessen the enjoyment of that conversation.
That is the part of special interests that I think neurotypical people will never understand. As I see it, neurotypical people bond over their interests. They want to find others that not only share a specific topic, but also, preferably, share opinions about that topic. For example, sports. While there appears to be some (mostly) good-natured ribbing should two people support opposing teams, people gravitate to those that support their particular favorite team. (I am not at all suggesting that sports are solely a domain of neurotypicals as many neurodivergent people enjoy sports as well, both as general and special interests. Not me, but others.)
Autistic people, as I see it, bond over the fact that they have special interests, not the interests themselves. For me, I prefer that (shocker, I am sure). When neurotypicals bond over a sports team, they seem to like “justifying” their support of their team. I do not want to justify my special interest. I am more than willing to share facts and information, but I do not want to feel like I need to justify why I enjoy something. In that sense, infodump is completely accurate. I want to give information (and share my joy about the information) but I do not want to feel compelled to explain why someone else should be interested in the topic.
I could be misreading things (there is another shocker!) but neurotypicals do not have much interest in learning about topics that do not interest them. So when I infodump on them, their eyes glaze over (I do occasionally peek at their eyes) and they think, or sometimes say, that I am just being weird. Whereas I have had wonderful conversations with other Autistic people about their, or my, special interest. This disconnect between neurotypicals and neurodivergent is pretty obvious in those conversations. I (and usually the other person) will apologize for infodumping, and the response is almost always a dismissal of that apology. Even more than rejecting the need for an apology, we encourage the other to continue. But we apologize to each other because we know that it does not go over well when we infodump to neurotypicals so the apology becomes an automatic part of an infodump. As Autistic people, we are excellent pattern detectors. I will often use some connection between that person’s special interest to bring up my own. I have also experienced others do the same thing, but it is not seen as a negative thing. Special-interest-jacking happens often and for the most part, is not something considered rude. When we share our special interests, we are really sharing joy. Even when we are talking about vastly disparate topics, it is that bliss that is driving the conversation, not the particular facts. Although there will be PLENTY of actual facts when Autistic people discuss special interests. And it is glorious!